World Cup 2010.. HOT OR NOT?

WHO'S HOT

• 

  Bastian Schweinsteiger

  Who needs Michael Ballack when you have a younger, quicker, less annoying version? The Pigclimber dominated Argentina's midfield and set up the third with a lovely dribble.

• 

  Spain

  Finally the infamous World Cup chokers make the semi-finals. The first time, which is shocking really. Now for Ze Germans...

• 

  Miroslav Klose

  He is, like, the best striker ever or something after scoring another two goals to go one goal behind Ronaldo TM in the all-time World Cup scoring charts. Yet he cannot get a game for Bayern.

• 

  David Villa

  Equalled Spain's World Cup record with his fifth goal, another vital one. A single goal shy of Raul's all-time national team mark, which he will surely break.

• 

  Jerome Boateng

  The whole back five really. The new Manchester City signing has been subject to some criticism this World Cup but was truly excellent in defence and attack. Lionel Messi did not get a sniff. Looks a top player.

WHO'S NOT

• 

  The world's 'best'

  Yet another fall of the mighty as Lionel Messi joins Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo and Franck Ribery in hardly turning up this World Cup. The best player in the world failed to score all tournament and barely contributed in the 4-0 defeat to Germany.

• 

  Diego Maradona

  Phew. For a moment there we thought Diego had single-handedly rendered the art of management redundant by being tactically incompetent, rude, insane and successful. A victory for coaching.

• 

  Fernando Torres

  Again rubbish as the curse of the 'top' players shows no sign of letting up in South Africa. The game changed when he was hauled off.

• 

  Argentina's full-backs

  Nicolas Otamendi and Gabriel Heinze were exposed time and time again by die jungemannschaft, the worst performers in a frankly woeful game from the previously excellent Argentines.

• 

  The interpretation of the offside rule

  Nelson Valdez's goal should not have been disallowed, despite British TV commentators joining the linesman in missing the point of the not-all-that-new rules regarding interference. The law may be an ass, but it's clear.